Question by Fred: In Ohio, What can you do if you’re depressed and can’t afford treatment?
I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. I had a nervous breakdown on my kids yesterday morning (which I hate myself for). I need help but I don’t have any $ $ for meds or threapists.

My spouse and I work opposite schedules. I need help.

Best answer:

Answer by Walking on Sunshine
In the front part of your local phone book you will find many FREE resources from counseling, government aid to educational resources. You can also join a support group like Al-Anon if you have a substance abuser that is causing you stress (it can be a boss, co-worker,friend or family). If your depression is causing you to abuse (alcohol, smoking, prescription drugs, over the counter sleep aids, etc) then you should look into AA if food is your “drug of choice” then go to OA. Finding a group of people that have been there and are getting better is a big help. You can also look for women’s help centers – they can supply counseling, medical assistance, job training and so much more. Never feel you are in this alone – there are millions of women at the breaking point and just as many services to help. Good Luck!

Answer by Not telling!
I am very sorry that you are dealing with a hard time right now. I’ve been there so my heart really goes out to you.

There are several things you can potentially do. First of all if you cant afford insurance you need to apply for state insurance
http://jfs.ohio.gov/families/health_care/index.stm
look there for information on that.

In my state if you make more than what they would consider low-income you can still get the state insurance; if you can prove that you can’t afford what your employer is offering, or that you are not being offered insurance through your employer. Usually all that takes is a signed statement from your employer and a couple proofs of income. A representative at the DHS office can help with that. Keep in mind that state insurance is not the same thing as being on state aid. Most states even sell insurance plans to people in the middle class if they are not eligible for insurance elsewhere.

That should be one of your first priorities because once you have that, you relieve yourself of the stressors that you, more than likely, have about going to the doctors or seeing a counselor. No one should ever worry about how they are going to afford the medical needs that they have.

In the meantime while you are waiting for the paperwork to get shuffled around three or four times before they come back to you (this is the hard part) Take Time For You (I give myself time outs: when the kids have a time out they have to sit in a chair for the number of minutes that they are years old 6 yrs old 6 minute time out, to think about what they did and how to fix it. I am much older so i get much longer time outs and take mine in the tub). If you are being strung out too thin, you will not be able to take care of your family. You need to be healthy and happy in order for your family to be healthy and happy.

Talk to your husband (and try to do so as calmly and kindly as possible, might be hard if he’s not being understanding, this i can relate to). Explain to him that you are not yourself. You are not responding in appropriate ways to your children, and you recognize this. Tell him you need his help at the home front with dinner, chores, kids, etc.. until you are back to being able to handle it again on your own. Um bear in mind this could take some time, I broke down in 2004 and it took me almost a year to get back to my stubborn, healthy, brick wall, i can handle anything self :o)..

You are probably working opposite shifts because you need the money and can’t afford the daycare. I don’t blame you that’s a good choice, but not many couples can keep at that schedule for long. You will miss one another and this situation could cause anger, resentment, intolerance, frustration, you’re probably missing one another and not able to fully appreciate one another, not only on a daily bases but also in the bedroom. You might want to weigh out the pros and cons of working opposite shifts again… having money is great but not at the expense of loosing yourself or your family. Also; If you have an understanding boss you might ask for a week vacation early, or a sick leave to recoup. This could really help bring you back to your nice warm loving self, and help you refocus.

Try your hardest to relax throughout your days. Keep telling yourself that it’s going to get better (it does, i’m better). Try to recognize when the kids are getting to you or anything else is getting to you, and work out a reliable plan with your spouse so that if you need to, you can walk away so that he can deal with their bickering. And use it. Walk away you can even tell the kids that you can’t fix their problem right now, mommy is busy, give me the toy we’ll sort it out later, now give mommy some space. And don’t feel guilty this is for their good as well as yours. When you’ve calmed down you can explain to the kids that you needed time to collect your thoughts to be better able to help fix their issue, and they’ll be tickled that your so thoughtful :o).

If your hubby is not available call your best friend, mother sister, brother, cousin anyone you know you can depend on, and ask them to step in and give you a hand. You need a support group (within your family) If you were in counseling right now, your counselor would tell you the same thing. You need a support group. If you are one of those (like me) unfortunate souls with not real dependable family then look in the paper there are always support groups in there.. yes they are strangers but they have gone through what you are going through, and form webs of safety for you. So that when you need a break someone is there to step in,.. like a bunch of mothers who just call one another and say help me for an hour and they are there (best part is most support groups are free). :o) i truly wish you all the best of luck and will keep you in my prayers .. i hope at least some of this book i’ve written you helps a little. xoxoxo

[email protected] .. if you need someone to talk to :o)

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